MARIE'S XMAS CAKE

Marie made another xmas cake this year.

All the decorations were hand made too.

I just can't seem to find my bottle of rum that I put aside for xmas day.

XMAS LUNCH

Xmas lunch was spent at the Auberge du Manoir

in the village.

Abalone with parsnip mousse for starters

Lamb with rosti and vegetables.

Pear souffle and chocolate sorbet.

All washed down with plenty of wine of course.

7 of us sat down to lunch,With us were Ralph, Pauline, Alan, Caryll, and Spencer.

THE 2015 GARD MANOIR XMAS PANTO.

THE LION, THE WITCH, AND SANTA GO ON HOLIDAY.

Once upon a time in a land far away lived a Lion, a Witch, and Santa Paws.

They had grown tired of their land after years of doing the same old walks day after day.

Things were restless in their home.

"Roar" said Arthur the Lion.

Same old walk day in day out. Chasing deer and hares. 

It's just so boring.

I want an adventure."

"Good idea" said Bella the Witch.

"I want to go where there is a bit of sunshine and lots

of friendly people who will throw sticks all day."

"I think I know just the place" said Shep the Grumpy Old Santa.

"North Korea has been in the news lately. Sounds like a fun place. 

Let's have 2 weeks there"

"Bolox Roar" said Arthur. "Are you off your kennel?

They eat dogs there. Not that it will affect me because I am a tough Lion."

"Do you want some?"

"No thanks Mr Lion" said The Wealdstone Raider.

"Well, if they eat dogs, I don't want to go, and will just sleep here for 2 weeks" said Bella the Witch.

"I have an idea" said Grumpy Old Santa.

"Let's go to North Korea and assassinate the President, 

and perhaps a regime change will mean better conditions for dogs"

Oh no!

What is happening?

Fizzzzz brrrrr,,Zzzzz

"This is North Korea. Your account has been hacked.

Do not take the piss out of our illustrious leader and if this pantomime is shown on the net, we declare all out war on the Kennel Club."

"Damn, our illustrious leader Mr Kim has been turned into a half pig by Bella the Witch.

You win! You win!

Publish your crap pantomime Infidels"

"Wow" said Arthur.

"I just had the strangest dream.

I thought I was a Lion and ate the Wealdstone Raider"

"That's nothing" said Bella.

I had a dream and I was a witch and turned one of the most dangerous men on the planet in to a pig."

"I had a dream that I was Santa, when really I am a Reindeer.

How mad is that?"

Anyway Bella, some dreams do come true.

You did turn the most dangerous man in the World in to a pig!"

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE

FROM THE GARD MANOIR 

IN FRANCE.

2014 XMAS RANT AND MONEY SAVING TIP

In true tradition I am again on the case of the annual Xmas swindle that is Celebrations or Heroe's Chocolates.

The 2012 rant can be found here.

http://alandmarie.blogspot.fr/2012/12/the-victor-meldrew-xmas-rant-2012.html

This year I have decided to take on the big boys and design my own chocolate selection box at a fraction of the price.

First of all pop along to your local Lidl which is all the rage right now, and purchase the above item.

Contents are 5 of each of the above. 30 mini bars of chocolate.

Cost 2 euros 20 cents, or £1-80 at current exchange rates.

They are the exact replica of well known chocolate bars.

On the left hand side top to bottom are the equals of Twix, Mars Bar, Bounty, and on the right, Topic, Milky Way, and Picnic.

Now for the  clever part. Unwrap every bar in the pack and..

...cut each bar into 4, giving you 120 bite size pieces of chocolate..

You then wrap each piece in a bit of tin foil...

It can take a little while but the result and money saving is worth it.

You then bring out last years empty box and you fill it with your hand wrapped sweets.

A tin of Heroe's or Celebrations cost £5 as a rule and you get 140 sweets. For £3-60 you will get 240 sweets.

Genius or what.

Also the greatest "pro" of this idea is that when people come round and you hand the chocs out, all are wrapped the same, so that greedy little shit who takes out all his own personal favourites can't do so.

As a bonus tip, 3 out of the 6 varieties of the selected chocolates contain nuts.

Why not pass the chocs round and have a game of anaphylactic roulette with a member of the family who has an allergy.

MERRY XMAS CHOCOLATE LOVERS.

One in the eye for Cadbury's and Mars I think you will agree.

FROSTY SUNDAY

A real hard frost this morning and with sunrise at 8-45,

a brisk 3 mile dog walk was in order.

The whole scenery changes with a frost.

Stuff the heating bill, a couple of days snow would be nice.

NIGHT AWAY WITH THE RNA

Saturday we were at the Royal Navy Association Xmas dinner which was held at the 13 assiettes hotel and restaurant near Mont St Michel.

27 of us put on the glad rags and had a fantastic evening with good food and wine.

A rare night away for us together in a hotel too.

A MYSTERY SOLVED

We had loads of blueberries out of this plant in 2013, but nothing in 2014.

Couldn't understand it till now.

It's a bloody dog nest!