ST MALO - BLOODY RIP OFF.

St Malo is worth a visit. But mark my words, don't stop for a drink as the "cheese eating surrender monkey's" seem to think having a view in the walled part of the town is a licence to print euros. One coffee, 1/2 a lemonade with syrop was 6 euros 60 cents. About £5-50. Then to make it worse, a group of hairy arsed bikers from Barnsley decided to sit near us and discuss the delights of spark plugs, speed, and not washing. Coming from Yorkshire is bad enough, but being a greebo as well, life is so cruel!!

Not an enjoyable way to sit and drink the worlds most expensive coffee!!!!

NOT ALL GOOD NEWS.

"The wettest May ever in Brittany" Thats what nextdoor neighbour Yves has told us. We have heard more thunder in this past 3 weeks than we did in the last 3 years in England. As you can see, the drainage from the garden is causing a problem, and the earliest the work can be done is September.

Still, with a bit of basic DIY, we are now keeping the water off the house by bulding a few temporary trenches which get bailed out when the rain stops.

All good fun...Honest!

OYSTER BEDS THIS TIME.

Cancale (8miles from St Malo) is famous for it's oysters. Just like the mussel beds they go out for miles to be farmed.

Cancale seafront, and we forgot to take a picture, is full of restaurants selling some of the freshest seafood that is possible to buy.

ST CAST VIEWS.

Pictures are taken on the western tip of St Cast beach on a red hot day in late May. Dont forget you can double click on any image to enlarge it.

QUATRE VAUX BEACH

About 4 miles away is Quatre Vaux beach where the tide goes out for miles, revealing the rows of mussel beds. Moules Frittes season is nearly here!

GRUFF'S FIRST EVER VISIT TO THE BEACH.

What Gruff learnt from his first visit to a beach.

1. Sea water does not taste like normal water, but what the hell I will drink it.

2. All shitehawks are the enemy and I am going to chase them all off the French coastline.

THEY DO THINGS DIFFERENT HERE.

This strange contraption was seen on Quatre Vaux beach where there thousands of mussel beds. A boat on wheels, with a crane on the back. Very handy for drink drivers. Doesn't matter if you "pond it", you can just drive out of the sea when you sober up. Brilliant!

STRANGE FRENCHPERSON ALERT!

The French do like a stroll along the beach very early in the morning, but be warned, it's only the insane French that do it. We were approached by an elderly local and his wife who wanted to make conversation. When I apologised for my lack of knowledge of the French language, he then proceded to reel off all the English prime ministers from Neville Chamberlain to Gordon Brown. Handy if you are on Mastermind (Specialist subject "British Prime Ministers from 1936-2008) but bloody irritating at 6-30 in the morning.

5-30am IN THE MORNING

Pictures are taken at 6am on a beach just to the west of St Cast.

Why on earth I got up that time of morning I don't know. Not as if I have to go to work tho like you losers!!!!

3 hours fishing, and just 2 wrasse caught. None by Paul, who on his 14th fishing trip to France, has yet to catch a thing!

SO POMPEY WON THE CUP.

It was such a crap cup final that the "Man of the Match" award was made in the village bar to some bloke who could sup 9 large glasses of bordeaux in an hour.

Paul is in town, and the bar profits have zoomed.

PLANCOET.

Plancoet 5 miles away sits on the river Arguenon. Good place for a beer or two in the afternoon.

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL & MARIE

Portsmouth have won the cup. I wish to self harm.

=

Portsmouth ont gagne le tasse. Je souhaite au mal d'individu.

CUP FINAL.

Pompey in the cup final. Cardiff in the cup final. What a crap game it will be.

Do I support Pompey, or do I become an honoury Welshman for the day?

Gruff has made his mind up.

WET OLD WEEK

Had some serious rain this week which has washed a lot of topsoil and grass seed down towards the house. Not a lot we can do till the retaining wall is built, but that might not be until September. Just going to have to grin and bear it for now.

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.

Decided to sit outside till midnight on Saturday as it was such a nice night.

Put a log on the barbie and drank far to much cheap Muscadet.

Pictured is Marie having a really nice time. Honest!

I mean look at the face on it. Anyone would have thought that I had locked her up in a cellar for 24 years.....now there's an original idea!

A GOOD WEEKEND.

Friday night we went to the village bar as there was a pool match on. This is the first season of pool in the area and matches are due to start at 8-30pm. But being France, the first game doesn't start till around about 10pm, so quite often matches don't finished till 1am, by which time all players are pissed.

Pictured is John an English mate from the village.

Then, as today (Monday)is a bank holiday, we went to the bar again last night, after a pleasant couple of beers in Plancoet and St Loermel with John.

MISS PORTSMOUTH.

The finalists for Miss Pompey are lined up.

The winner was Kylie from Cowplain. (3rd right)

HOW'S THE DOG DOING?

Pretty well as you can see. The stream is about 1km from the house, and seems to be Gruff's favourite place to go, especially as the weather has been so hot the past 3 days.

To be honest there are so many dog walks around here, we are spoilt for choice.

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL AND MARIE.

Vous n'entendez pas que beaucoup de Sacha Distel faites desormais vous?

=

You don't hear much of Sacha Distel these days do you?

BLOODY WEATHER FORECAST,

All the forecasts said rain today. So we decided to stay indoors and do a bit of tidying/cleaning. Here we are at 4-20pm and no rain yet. So well done Michel Poisson (French for Michael Fish)

It is also the Victory Day bank holiday today where the French celebrate their great win in World War 2. Monday is also a bank holiday, so most the locals have wrapped up for a long weekend. St Cast just 5 mles away is very popular.

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL AND MARIE.

Je voudrais la compote de puneaux avec mes escargot mais il pourrait affecter mes entrailles irritables

=

I would like stewed prunes with my snails but it will affect my irritable bowels.

GARDEN PROGRESS.

For those of you who have been out here, you will remember the "jungle garden" we inherited.

Pictured above it was always going to be a nightmare to get it in some sort of order.

Well, as you can see from the next picture, things are moving along nicely, thanks in no small part to Yves nextdoor, who has completely overhauled the lot.

The picture below was taken today, the grass seed is just starting to come through.

Already planted are broad beans, runner beans, red onions, and if the weather holds, there will be a few other things by next week.

The last 2 days have been pretty hot, but the forecast for (another French bank holiday weekend) is not that good.

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL & MARIE

Partons au-dessus au dessus et sortons ce piluleur Allemand.

=

Let's go over the top and take out that German pillbox

SUNDAYS IN ST POTAN

(BRUTUS THE BULLDOG WAS THAT PISSED OF WITH THE STANDARD OF REFEREEING THAT HE REFUSED TO WATCH THE SECOND HALF)

Every other Sunday, the village football team are at home. 3 Euros to get in for men, women are free. (Try that one Ken Bates!) As the bar in the village shuts in the afternoon, there is always a pretty good turn out of 50+ to enjoy a crap game of football, but wine at 70 cents a glass.

You cant tell by this picture, but there really was a few there to see St Potan lose 2-1 to Plelan.

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL & MARIE.

TODAY'S LESSON.

Cette femme a les aisselles tres veleus.

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That woman has very hairy armpits.

MAYDAY BANK HOLIDAY.

Thursday we went up to the next hamlet where our friend Karen and her two daughters (Martha & Dolcie) live. In return for a couple of hours work, weeding and digging, we had a good lunch with a few beers to boot. Met up with a few ex-pats as well. A good afternoon was had by all. For the first time in 5 days, the rain held off.

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL & MARIE.

For those of you coming over to see us, we thought a few handy French lessons on the way will help you get through the language minefield. So we will arm you with a few handy phrases to make your trip more enjoyable.

TODAYS LESSON.

Ily a de fromage coince dans mon grand ongle d'ortiel

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There is cheese stuck in my big toenail.

MAY DAY BANK HOLIDAY

Did you know that the French have more bank holidays than any other country in Europe?

There are 4 bank holidays in May alone.

1st May. Fete de Trevail - Labour Day.

8th May. World War 2 Victory Day. (Not sure why the French are claiming victory)

11th May. Pentecost

12th May. Pentecost Monday.

So the first couple of weeks in May is not the best time to book a tradesman, or a delivery.