HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

We are staying in tonight. Homemade small eats and some nice wine. A HAPPY NEW YEAR to all blog readers.

A BELATED XMAS WARNING

I hope all our readers had a very Merry Xmas. We certainly did. Nice and peaceful, just us two and the dogs. The lack of Xmas panic like we used to get in the UK always makes for a pleasant festive period. However, I must warn you about this wine. Just two glasses and I was swearing like a dockyard worker with toothache. Double click the picture to check this stuff out!

THE VICTOR MELDREW XMAS RANT

Last year you may all remember about my complaint to the makers of Quality Street about their poor representation of variety in their 1kg tin. This year to avoid disappointment we invested in a 854g box of Cadbury's Celebrations. To my utter disgust, it seems that the nations favourite Xmas chocolate selection box is also a complete rip off. So I have sent the following letter off to Cadbury's. Dear Chocolatier, Last week I purchased your 854g Celebrations selection box. As soon as I opened it I was dazzled by the row of blue wrapped sweets. This is not the first impression I was expecting. I decided to investigate further. You have 8 different varieties in your selection box, and with 93 chocolates in the mentioned box, I was expecting equal distribution amongst the said varieties. That would be in an ideal world 10 or 11 of each mini chocolate bar. Sadly I have to report the following. In my box were the following: 18 Mars 17 Milky Way 14 Snickers 14 Bounty 12 Teasers 6 Twix 6 Caramel 6 Galaxy. Now, Mars bars are the nations favourite, so I can understand your exuberance in making this the highest number in the box. "A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play", so assuming I start eating the chocs on Xmas day, and at the ratio of one mini mars bar every 24 hours, I will have enough of them to see me through till 10th january 2012. Milky Way. Light and airy, but not light on numbers. Bounty. Does anyone really like coconut? Maybe one for a Xmas treat, but 14 is just taking the mickey. I feel sure that the last 13 sweets in this box will all be Bounty's and will eventually be ditched in June. Snickers. Oh do be brief. They are Marathon bars. Just ditch the crap American name and give us back the real name. Also, mini marathons don't contain many peanuts. So they are just Mars bars really. Twix. Just 6. Come on, when put end to end, that is not even one full sized finger. You tight gits! Caramel. Yuk! Glad there were only 6 of them. That is your one redeeming factor. Galaxy. Just 6 as well. If I bought a normal bar, I would eat more than 6 bricks in one session. This is a poor amount for an addictive chocolate. So,to sum up. Get it right with equal distribution in your selection boxes. It shows a lack of stock control and frankly puts your company in a very bad light. Yours disgusted, Al Gard. P.S. I shall be mustering the tin of Heroes on Boxing Day. Best they are to my liking.

LACK OF COMMUNICATION

To my fellow Male blog readers. Once again I have proof that women do not listen! There is just the cosy two of us for Xmas lunch. No pressure, nice and simple, and not too expensive. Yesterday after work, Al went shopping in Super U and bought the Xmas turkey as agreed. There was one the right size for our small festive meal.

And guess what..When I get home, turns out the "Nag" has only gone and bought one earlier that morning. You would have thought that after 22 years as a communicator in the RN, she would have phoned me and said she had already bought one. So, we have a spare turkey. Bids in sealed envelopes please, or bid on e-bay for it!

STILL SHOVELLING SH*T

Al is still going down to the stables 3 times a week to help Arnaud empty the horse boxes. Also, A bit of Xmas cheer. We have rescued this wild horse from the knackers yard and pay a small amount each month for his feed.

The upside is, Al can now drive the muck tractor!

QUALITY!

Thank you Kate. A brilliant Xmas Card. You must all see this. Just copy and paste. http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/X1g2DXAM09BuqmUymZnn

DOGS XMAS PANTO

Twas the night before Xmas, and the Reindeer were all prepared for their long journey to deliver presents to all the children of the world.

But Santa had the arse! "The government want me to work longer and also stop my final pension salary" said Santa

"Don't be so sad" said Rudolph. "Because of the austerity measures, I'm not even a real reindeer. I am just a dog in reindeer's clothing. The cut backs have been shocking. I haven't even done the 3 day reindeer pilots course in Lapland. Come on, let us deliver these presents"

"Bah humbug" said Santa. "I'm on strike. Look at that present at the back. It looks like booze. I'm gonna open it and get wasted!" "NOOOOOO" said Rudolph. "We are not going through all that rehab thing again. You only work one day of the year, and when you do you hit the bottle" "Get lost" said Santa. "I'm getting lashed! The kids get enough in benefits anyhow"

3 HOURS LATER. "HIC! MERRY XMAS EVERYONE. I FEEL DOG ROUGH" Once again, no animals were hurt in the making of this panto. Just a lot of human patience and bonios were required.

BACK TO HOSPITAL

Marie had to go back for an RMI scan on Wednesday.
Turns out she broke her shoulder in a second place, but it wasn't picked up on the initial x-ray.
So it's back to the Doctors tomorrow to find out what happens next.

SAD NEWS

Sadly the former owner of the bar Pluduno, Nono, has died just 2 weeks after retiring.
He will be sadly missed by all locals.

XMAS TREE

And this is the Gard Manoir Xmas Tree this year.

"Christmas is coming.

The goose is getting fat"

Please don't call me goose said Marie!

AFTERNOON IN DINAN

What with Marie having an MRI next Wednesday, we thought we would to a dummy run in to Dinan to find out where in the hospital we have to go.

That left plenty of time for a bit of xmas shopping on a dull wet afternoon.

Still, all presents bought by the 1st week in December.

That is some kind of record!

BOOK EARLY

If you are coming over for a visit in 2012, these are the dates of various functions in the village.

18 February. Football club spring dinner, with Jaret - frittes

8 July. Hunters festival and dog show.

4 August. Moules -frittes night. (Not for lightweights)

IT'S ALL BEEN A BIT QUIET

It's just that time of year.

Nothing much going on.

Marie is still recovering from being run over and has a MRI scan coming up to find out whether she needs an operation on muscle damage.

Saturday night we hosted a curry evening for John,Chrissy, Bill, and Sharon.

Homemade Sheek Kebabs, Chicken Rendang and Chicken Saag, with naan breads and all the trimmings.

Have just surveyed the empty bottles, so must have been a good night.

The rain has arrived at last. 2 days non stop, but still water levels are well down in the area.

Didn't stop us from a good soggy dog walk this morning.

And now we are back for an afternoon of leftover curry.

Only 3 weeks till xmas and the excitement is...er, not really here in the village yet!

MOAN MOAN MOAN!

After being knocked off her bike by the lorry, Marie is still in pain.

Went for a check at the Doc's yesterday, and he has sent her for an MRI scan in Dinan, as he thinks there is some muscle damage, which could require an operation.

As I write this I have flu and am feeling like crap. My first bout of flu for many a year.

Still, soon be Xmas!

NOVEMBER RNA LUNCH

The November lunch for the France North RNA was held at La Borgnette, in Vilde Guinalan.

Just about 30 minutes from our place.

20 odd turned up for a lunch of

Cold Buffet Starter.

Escalope of Turkey, followed by Creme Brulee.

REMEMBRANCE DAY

As usual we made the Remembrance parade in the village.

A brief service followed by a letter read out from Mr Sarkozy thanking all that fought with the French during both wars.

Then it was back to the Mayors for a drink to toast all who served.

NASTY ACCIDENT

So, down the main road she comes on her electric bike. Signals clearly to turn left and the lorry driver zooms past on her left hand side as she is about to turn.

A very lucky escape for Marie.

She was taken to Dinan hospital for X-Rays and they found a hairline fracture of her shoulder.

Bruised and swollen all over as you can see, and pretty shaken up.

All the details have been logged thanks to a witness, and now we await the legal side of things to turn up.

I am of course the "Duty Runner" for all things liquid and solid, and now chief dog walker.

QUICK POST

Marie has been involved in an accident after being hit by a speeding lorry whilst she turned in to our lane.

She is OK, but was very lucky.

Further updates soon.

WOOD BURNER

4 weeks after buying the wood burner, at last we got someone to come and put it in properly after being let down by a previous plumber.

We have a stack of wood for this winter so it's going to be super cozy in the Manoir de Gard this winter.

NOVEMBER COMPETITION FOR OUR READERS.

The 1st November is a public holiday in France.

All Saints Day.

All rather boring for us ex pats, what with the shops being closed, and the bar in the village only open lunchtime.

So, to liven things up we decided to play hide and seek.

Marie went and hid first, but after 2 hours, I couldn't find her.

Can our readers find her.

She is hiding somewhere in this picture.

Mark the picture with an X where you think she is hiding and e-mail us with your guess.

Bottle of Chablis for a correct guess, or a consolation prize for the nearest miss.

Don't forget to double click the picture for a better chance of spotting her.

GET YOUR GHOULIES OUT.

Halloween!

Tonight on our gate post is this home grown pumpkin, carved out by Marie.

If any French kids come trick or treating, I have covered some boiled sprouts in chocolate laxative.

TRICK!

All the insides have made a lovely Sri Lankan Curried Pumpkin and Coconut Soup.

A MYSTERY SOLVED

It's not the greatest picture, but this just might be the reason why no birds have used the nest box for the last 2 years!

END OF SUMMERTIME

The clocks went back this morning.

Sadly the dogs don't understand Zulu time, so we were woken early.

For the first day of winter, it was lovely and warm, and avoiding the local hunt, we found somewhere safe to release the hounds.

HARRY RAMSDEN"S

We haven't had good old fish 'n' chips in ages, and with cod on offer at the supermarket, Saturday night seemed like a good idea to have a taste of home.

Side order of curry sauce, loads of tartare sauce, bread and butter.

Magnificent!

TRAFALGAR LUNCH

It was only 2 weeks ago that Al met Bill and Sharon Wignall from nearby Pleboule.

The conversation got round to "what did you do before you came to France"

And on discovering that we were both ex navy, Bill mentioned the Trafalgar Day Dinner at Le Relais du Mont with the Royal Navy Association.

We duly signed up and paid a membership fee, not really sure of what it was all about.

Bill kindly drove to the Brit Hotel (Don't be fooled by the name. It is not anything to do with the UK) but just a handy meeting point for members to gather.

The guest of honour was Admiral Sir Brian Brown, who gave a great speech after what was an excellent meal.

We were welcomed by all, and both agree, it was an outstanding day.

It was good to crack a few "dits" with ex serving..and non serving members.

The port flowed after the meal in true Naval style, and as with all good functions

there was a raffle and an auction to raise funds.

Marie won an auction for a decommissioning bottle of port from the Royal Yacht.

When I say won..I mean 75 euros worth.

Still, it goes with my Naval collection...which funnily enough is all alcohol, like Pussers Rum, HMS Victory port..and the like.

So, A big thank you to Brittany Nord RNA.

We are looking forward to the next lunch, and also the odd beer out with fellow members!

UFO?

There it was larger than life.

Hovering above the house with an eerie droning noise just after midnight.

It sat above the village for about 3 minutes before zooming off in a westerly direction at lightening speed.

Obviously looking for signs of intelligent life in the area.

No humans have been reported missing, but 2 goats have been reported stolen from a nearby field.

The aliens are wondering why the intelligent life in France are eating hay and rutting every half an hour!

NATURES FREEBIES

Always plenty of freebies to be had in the Brittany countryside.

Walnuts and Hazelnuts are everywhere, and hopefully next month, a few sloe berries for making sloe gin.

SHED BUILDING

Have spent a couple of days this week putting up a shed for an elderly lady in Matignon.

The instructions were as complicated as normal, and despite having 120 screws and nails left over, I am sure it will stay up!

LEARN FRENCH WITH AL AND MARIE.

In French: Si la victoire de la France la coupe du monde de rugby, je mangera mon béret, et épouse ma soeur.

In English: If France win the rugby world cup, I will eat my beret, and marry my sister.

A SUNDAY WALK.

The exceptional October weather has made it a great start to the month. Although down to about 48F degrees at night, Sunday hit an amazing 32 by mid afternoon.

Took the dogs out in the morning and on the horizon were two hot air ballons. (You will have to double click the picture to see it's true)

The Montgolfier brothers live on in this part of France.

Then the walk took an even stranger turn.

The hunt season started last week, and as we went to our normal "safe field" for the dogs, a van was parked nearby with a Jack Russell in it.

As we approached the van, the dog obviously started barking, but not only that, he had been trained to beep the horn as well.

Anyway, a fine Sunday was finished off with an afternoon BBQ, after buying a dozen ridiculously cheap oysters fresh from the sea at St Cast

This picture was taken after a few had been eaten.

SUMMER POOL FINAL

The all Brittany Pool final was held in Languenon and we had qualified by coming second in our group.

But that was as good as it got, we were knocked out in the group stage losing 6-0, 6-5, and winning one match 6-3.

I was quite awful and only one a single match out of 9.

Strange and i had only lost 2 in 14 games during the season.

Ah well !

Who cares? Pool is for girls.

Darts is the man's game!

BUILDING AGAIN

Nico, the owner of the Auberge du Manoir restaurant in St Potan wanted someone to lay a patio foundation at his home in St Meloir des Ormes.

So Andy and myself spent a week over there digging out the foundations and laying the base.

It was hard work, and we were a bit behind time owing to the fact that the concrete had to be cancelled twice because of the weather.

Still, the job was done, and done very well if I say so myself.

ANOTHER DARTS TROPHY

The all Brittany summer league finals day was held at La Cale in Pleurtuit.

32 teams from who finished in the top two of each league met to fight it out for the overall championship.

The draw was made and just our luck in our group of 4 were national champions Matignon and we were duly spanked 7-0 in our first match.

But then it go better, we won our last 3 group games to qualify for the knockout stage.

Had a comfortable win over Jugon in the last 16, then we had to play current Brittany cup holders Plousane in the quarter finals.

It looked dead and buried at 3-1 down, but we won the last 3 legs to nick it 4-3

Then in the semi final we led 3-2, only to choke at the last minute and go out 4-3.

Still, another trophy and a cash prize.

A good day was had by all.

MUM AND BOB COME TO STAY

Mum and Bob came out to stay for a fortnight.

We had quite a few meals out and the weather held up quite well, so a good time was had by all.

No more visitors booked for this year, but as usual, if anyone wants to come and stay at short notice you will be welcome.

FRENCH MUSIC

Nothing like watching live music.

We just had to go and see this triple bill in Jurgon.

Apparently the first band are quite "handy"

TALKING OF MUSHROOMS

We took the dogs out in the fields this morning, and thought that some kid had left a football in one of the open spaces nearby.

Getting up closer it was obviously not a ball, but a giant puffball mushroom.

Not one that had dropped out of Arthur's ear by the way.

Well, it was begging to be picked.

On taking it home we found it to be just under 2lbs in weight

9 inches long way and 6 inches sideways on.

We see a lot of mushrooms this time of year, and despite having an excellent book for identifying them, we have never bothered to take the chance in eating them.

The book said it was edible and this was confirmed by Nico, the head chef at the Auberge du Manoir in the village.

He even cut it in half, then sliced some and took it in to the kitchen.

A few minutes later he appeared with a plate of tasty sauted puffball mushroom in black pepper and a dash of port.

Delicious!

If you ever find one of these, grab it.

I am told mine would have been worth 30-40 euros at market.

Further reading is here.

http://www.mushroom-appreciation.com/puffball-mushrooms.html