THE VICTOR MELDREW XMAS RANT 2012

Dear blog readers, once again my consumer research has once again focused on a box of Cadbury's Celebrations.

After the letter I wrote to Cadbury's last year (Check under 2011 December postings) I have decided to see whether they have acted on my advice.

Well, I will start with the good news.

This year the box weighed in at 855g instead of last years 854g, which surely means more chocolate. Not much admittedly,  but it shows progress.

Anyway, as usual, much disappointment, so I have written another letter to the company.

It follows:

To whom it may concern,

Last year I wrote to you about the uneven distribution of the 8 available choices in your 854g celebrations selection box.

I decided to give your product one more chance this Xmas and purchased one to see if you have heeded my sound advice.

On getting the product home I was delighted to note that you had increased the weight of the box to 855g a huge increase of 0.09%.

Thank you for that, obviously you are giving your customers extra chocolates, a gesture much appreciated in the current economic climate.

However, imagine my disappointment on opening the box and finding the following. I have included the 2011 content figures to save you the trouble.

                          2012                                   2011

                        Mars 18                               Mars 18

                        Galaxy 6                              Galaxy 6

                        Twix 6                                 Twix 6

                        Teasers 12                           Teasers 12

                        Bounty 14                            Bounty 14

                        Snickers 14                          Snickers 14

                        Caramel 6                            Caramel 6

                        Milky Way 16                      Milky Way 17

                        TOTAL 92                           TOTAL 93

I am now confused ( and spittingly angry) here. 1 gramme of extra product this year, but one less Celebration in the box!!! 

How the bloody hell does that work?

Have the effing wrappers ballooned in weight?

Is the box now lead lined or something?

You also haven't taken a blind bit of notice of the evenness of selection as I pointed out last year.

One less Milky Way and you have not had the decency to inform the public with a wide advertising campaing.

Well, let me tell you this...This is exactly how Hitler's Germany started. You know, conning the public into a false sense of security and eventually destoying the people's dreams. Your company deserves to be crushed for their lies and deception, and I for one will now be buying more deodorant to aid with global warming. I hope the earth gets so hot, that none of your chocolate ever sets again!

FASCISTS!

Yours Sincerely,

Alan Gard

France.

P.S. Merry Xmas.